Updates on life since that fateful day or rather days (namely 16 Apr 07 and 19th Apr 07).
Tried moving on. Had a few close frens around on and off to check on me and encourage me. The initial weeks were hell. Pple kept saying its not worth it and so on and so forth. All i said was.. its the past.. i do not wish to point the fingers anymore. All i can say is i've had my self reflection, know wat i've done that resulted in all these. And i would say.. 2 had their fair share of contributions... but i should take the larger blame...
I've cried enuff, still am crying occassionally. I focus life on my new career. Initially was bad coz those things happen during my first month with the compnay. I cudnt focus and was often absent from work. I was been picked on and was the talk of the office. It bothered me alot initially. But after much thoughts, i manage to pick myself up...primarily coz the old me used ot be strong, confident, and has a never say die attitude..Things are looking great thus far. Buried myself in work for almost 12hours daily. Top Newcomer and Top Sales after only just 2 months with the company. Boss even wans me over to help guide some of the old birds but i decline. I have great sense of accomplishment. The recognition, the respect i earned now.. I am proud.. but i am not happy...
Bling Bling coming my way soon as i overachieved my set target for this qtr.. stand at 150% overall now.. Oooooo... got a few plans up... Gym membership with Jess, Archery class with Jerone...many more in plan...
I still have nightmares on and off on that fateful nite. And dreams of hoping to see him again... but i can only hope and wait. Emo is like a roller coaster ride now...up and down, comes and goes with no warning. I cud only numb myself with...
Anyway, I will rise again (sounds so familiar). And in my heart... no one can ever replace him. There can only be one him. Now, i only hold on to the happy memories. I've long forgotten the bad ones... the only reason i am still lamenting, is not on the past.. is on not having his forgiveness.
Gonna go watch some dvds now... :P
Life is like a reel of film, captured images about your life. It's nostalgic to revisit your memories.. though some are good and others are bad.
Quote:
"On the tight rope, everything's bare. All that there is, is from here to there"
"On the tight rope, the goal is quite clear. Don't lose yourself in your fear"
AshtoN
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